Goodbye

"in life, we celebrate the birth of a child and mourn the death of love ones. in life, we are slaves to the world, yet in life we are also master of our own fates, to a certain extent" - unknown

today we cremated the body of my grandfather, today we celebrated his life which ended due to illnesses. today i see myself changed... emotionally and mentally. today, my self-preservation mechanism activated when they pushed my grandpa into the furnace. today i rejected the idea of love... why love when it's going to end up hurting you? today Lucifer, the fallen angel shove this ideaology to me, "to love is to get hurt". somehow i would agree with him... to love is to be venerable to pain and suffering. Mother Theresa once said before she died, "to love whole-heartedly, one has to love till it hurts". all these came into my mind as they closed the door behind grandpa... but i didn't really cry. really, i swear i didn't cry... i have rejected all trace of emotions, i refused to let myself feel slaved to emotions and tears. i became another person that i feared becoming from the very beginning. i became my alter ego that existed ever since i experienced life. i became emotionless to protect myself... i'm tired right now, i wish to take a nap... goodnight ladies and gentlemen, Andrew has left the building...